Airline Passengers To Be Naked

News Item

Due to the rising risk of a terrorist strike against airlines, the Department of Homeland Security is now banning all luggage and clothing on the plane. "This is the only way to protect the rights and safety of American citizens" as they fly, said spokesperson Bea Yllin. Ms. Bea Yllin cautioned travelers to prepare themselves for the change and come to the terminal in the nude or to change in one of the restrooms and have a friend keep those clothes for them.

Whitehouse spokesman Tony Snow gave a stern warning to terrorist today at a hastily called press conference. "You cannot hide, we will find you. We will uncover your operations just as we have exposed this latest attempt."