Tuesday, February 26, 2008

An Uproar

So the local hypocritical Christians are in an uproar again. This time against ME!

You see it all goes back several years ago when I found a loophole in the law. You see, the law allows me to something rather unique on my property. I am allowed to kill anyone for any reason or no reason, as long as they are on my property. Things were slow at first, but after a while people would start bringing other people to me so I could kill them too. You see, it doesn't matter if they come willingly or if they are forced onto my property, as long as they are on my property its all legal.

I started earning enough money from this little endeavor that even tho there are those who don't like it I have been able to purchase some rather considerable influence with the politicians and they in turn have ensured that this loophole is not closed. Its a pretty good deal. I get paid, and others get to be rid of someone who is bothering them. It's my right after all, and ain't no one gonna stop me.

But those darn Christians keep at it. Its gotten so bad that I have had to go to the courts to enact a "bubble zone" to keep these Christians away, and the local police force has to stand watch to ensure that my rights are not violated by those who wish to take away not just my rights, but yours as well!

They are a huge nuisance. They picket my house, shouting their inane slogans and showing pictures they have obtained of dismembered corpses (how else am I going to dispose of them?) My neighbors have complained, but there is nothing I can do about it. There is just no reasoning with these backwards people. They are all fascists who listen to their imaginary friend and are always looking for ways to control my life and those who come to me. So far the courts have upheld our freedoms, but we must remain vigilant to see that those control freaks don't take them all away.