Thursday, May 25, 2006

Timeless Wisdom From Al

Put down your chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite

You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before its time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch

You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wimpole's not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan

Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite on more than you chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid

Take some wooden nickles
Look for Mr. Goodbar
Get your mojo working now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be stupid

You can turn the other cheek
You can just give up the ship
You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip

Dare to be stupid
Come on and dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Let's go

It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill
So can I have a volunteer
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk
Now it's time for crying in your beer

Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA
Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevyrolet
And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away
It's OK, you can dare to be stupid

It's like spitting on a fish
It's like barking up a tree
It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free

Dare to be stupid (yes)
Why don't you dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Dare to be stupid

Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Mashed potatoes can be your friends

You can be a coffee achiever
You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do
(Dare to be stupid)
(Dare to be stupid)
What did I say
(Dare to be stupid)
Tell me, what did I say
(Dare to be stupid)
It's alright
(Dare to be stupid)
We can be stupid all night
(Dare to be stupid)
Come on, join the crowd
(Dare to be stupid)
Shout it out loud
(Dare to be stupid)
I can't hear you
(Dare to be stupid)
OK, I can hear you now
(Dare to be stupid)
Let's go, Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
And that, boys and girls, was Timesless Wisdom from Al. Tune in next time for more timeless wisdom!